


We're on our way Home

by dancingsweetheart129



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), avengers endgame - Fandom
Genre: Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), This Is Sad, but soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-02-28 20:22:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18763531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dancingsweetheart129/pseuds/dancingsweetheart129
Summary: It was painful, losing Tony. Peter felt it on a different level than everyone else.And he felt guilty about it.Because he was there, and maybe if he hadn’t been blubbering he could have done something, anything. He could have gotten the gauntlet to safety faster, he could have grabbed one of those stones out of it so it didn’t work and ran, he could have tried that ice spray-ey stuff Mr. Stark had in his web shooters for injuries, he could have been the one to snap his fingers because at least he has a healing factor. At least he would have had a chance.





	We're on our way Home

**Author's Note:**

> I have to get the Endgame out of my system, I'm on a kick with it and need a break from DC while this is at the forefront of my mind. Warning: Sad. Also, spoilers, but if you haven't seen Endgame I'm guessing you're not looking at Marvel fics.

It was painful, losing Tony. Peter felt it on a different level than everyone else.

And he felt guilty about it.

Because he was there, and maybe if he hadn’t been blubbering he could have done something, anything. He could have gotten the gauntlet to safety faster, he could have grabbed one of those stones out of it so it didn’t work and ran, he could have tried that ice spray-ey stuff Mr. Stark had in his web shooters for injuries, he could have been the one to snap his fingers because at least he has a healing factor. At least he would have had a _chance_.

But that was the fourth adult he lost in his short lifetime that really fucking meant something to him and it hurt a lot. He felt guilty. Every fucking adult who cares about him ends up dead and he could have actually done something this time instead of letting Mr. Stark die. Because it wasn’t just him that was losing, Pepper lost her husband, Rhodey lost his best friend, and Morgan lost her Daddy.

Peter vowed to himself to pick up the slack. And May understood. It wasn’t easy, but he bargained with her to let him spend weekends upstate at Tony’s off-the-grid home.

The first weekend wasn’t easy, mostly because it hurt a lot and everyone was still really tender. Morgan seemed to be okay, mostly, but she didn’t seem to understand everything fully. But after they tucked her into bed, Peter and Pepper spent that first weekend crying together over cold cups of coffee late into the night.

Pepper assured him that he did everything he could, and Tony was just happy he was alive and never would have wanted Peter to put himself in any kind of immediate danger with any of the things Peter suggested he could do. Peter just cried because he knew she was right, and that made him more upset because the only person he could blame for Tony’s death then was Tony and he didn’t want to do that.

He cried until he made himself sick that night, and that made him cry more, and he was shocked they didn’t wake Morgan up in the middle of the night.

That was over two years ago though, and in that time Peter had helped Pepper a lot. They went through most of Tony’s stuff, clothes and things, getting rid of his actual junk and packing away some other things. Peter took a few shirts that still smelled like Tony’s cologne, and Pepper folded his glasses to keep on his nightstand.

They left the garage as it was, mostly because Peter still used it for his suit a lot. He didn’t feel right rearranging things to his own preferences, so he just got new preferences and adapted to the area. He clipped his hair back out of his face with one of Morgan’s hair clips that she left there and used the space for himself almost every weekend, talking to Friday late into the night.

But mostly, in those two or so years, he grew to love Morgan. She was incredibly smart for her age, and there were a lot of times when Peter was over-tired that she pointed out things he was missing in his work, or obvious answers to problems he was too exhausted to solve. She was also sweet, and funny, and she had Tony’s eyes and hair and it was so comforting to have this little girl around. It was someone who, no matter what, would always be part Tony. He couldn’t imagine not spending time with her.

“You should go, Peter,” Pepper said, looking up from the class schedule in her hands. Peter had been on the fence about going away to MIT. Of course, that’d been his dream, and Ned and MJ were both going too, and that made it even better, but going away meant not being able to come to the cabin every weekend and spend time helping Pepper around the house and playing with Morgan and helping her with homework and eating dinner in this little family he was trying desperately to hold onto. He was enrolled, but it wasn’t too late to back out.

“But I could go to a college in New York and be so much closer,” Peter sighed, setting the wet dinner plates aside in their drying rack. “Still come over on weekends and stuff.”

“Peter, Honey, come sit here with me,” Pepper said, pulling out the bar stool beside her. Peter shut off the water and dried his hands on a dish towel before going to sit beside the woman. “Listen, I have loved having you here every weekend, I really have. It’s made everything easier on me, and on Morgan, and I appreciate it so much. But if this is what you want, you should go.”

“But Morgan-“

“Morgan will be fine,” Pepper insisted. “You have to go on and live your life. We’ll always be here, and you can visit whenever you want, but one day you’re going to want to go on and do the big superhero thing and have a family of your own. I don’t want us to be the reason you’re holding yourself back.”

Peter pursed his lips for a moment. He knew, deep down, she was right, he did have to eventually go and be an adult, but he felt like an adult already and couldn’t he just-

“It’s what he’d want you to do,” Pepper said, and every time she mentioned him still Peter got a little choked up. “Going away to his school? He’d be so proud of you.”

And of course she was right, because when wasn’t Pepper right?

“You’re right,” He nodded. “Thanks, Pep.”

“You’re welcome, Honey,” Pepper leaned in to give him a hug, needing one herself. It would be different, not having him there to keep an eye on Morgan so she could do house work and get some peace and quiet. “You’re going to have so much fun at school.”

“Peter’s leaving?”

The pair separated, looking towards the stairs, where Morgan was staring at them with wide eyes.

“No, not yet, Honey,” Pepper said.

“You said he’s going to school,” Morgan pointed out, and oh it was way too late for this discussion.

“In a few months I’m going to be going away to college,” Peter said, and he could feel the tantrum coming before she started. His spidey sense was always good at feeling those before they could happen.

“You’re going away?” She asked, her face scrunching up.

“Just to school, Morgan, I’ll be back-“

“You’re leaving!” Morgan shouted, running back up the stairs. Peter was up and running before Pepper could even call out to them, he was yelling for the six-year-old, trying to get her to stop.

But then she was running in her room and slamming the door.

“Morgan?” Peter asked, knocking on her door. She didn’t say anything, so he pushed it open, only to pull it closed again when one of her little black shoes came flying at him. It hit the door with a dull thud, then bounced to the floor in her room. “Can I talk to you?”

Still nothing.

* * *

 

Pepper had told Peter not to worry, that the girl would come out when she was ready and wanted to talk, but that didn’t mean Peter still missed tucking her in and reading her a story.

He hid himself in the garage, and doing what he normally did when he was particularly missing Tony, which was playing back some of his phone messages. Tony had called him a lot in the last five years, leaving messages here and there just to talk, and there was one from the day before Peter came back that always hurt him and made him feel better.

_“So, anyways, enough of my rambling. What I called to say was that this has to work.”_

Peter took a deep breath.

_“I’ll tell ya, Kiddo, these last five years have really sucked without you. I mean, I’ve got Morgan and Pep, but it doesn’t feel right working in the lab without some help. Morgan’s still too little.”_

This part always made him cry no matter how much time went by.

_“I’ll see you soon, Pete, okay? And no matter what, you go and be the best spider-kid you can be, alright? And that you don’t do anything stupid, that’s important.”_

Peter chuckled through his tears.

_“Anyways, I’ll see you soon. And when you’re back, we’re getting cheeseburgers, I could go for one of those.”_

The voicemail ended, and Peter was openly sobbing over his suit.

“Would you like me to play another one, Peter?” Friday asked, and Peter tried to take a deep breath to respond.

“No, Fri,” He choked out. “Thanks.”

God he missed Tony. He missed everyone he lost, but Tony was different. That was someone who knew about his heroing and about his home life and still took him in and wanted to help him. And he needed that, what with Cap all old now and Thor out in space and that glowy woman, the other Captain, she was off world, and Nat was gone too and Bruce wasn’t the Hulk anymore. Who would he even have to help him when he needed advice? No one got his hero experience quite like Tony.

“Oh, God, Tony,” Peter cried, putting his hands on his suit to hold himself up as tears fell. A few dripped from his chin and landed on the suit, promptly shocking his hand a bit.

“Ow, shit,” He hissed, pulling his hand back.

“Daddy said only Mommy could use that word.”

Peter sat up straight, wiping his face quickly with his hoodie sleeve and turning to see Morgan in the doorway, still in her pajamas.

“Hey, Peanut, what are you doing up?” He asked, and the girl shrugged a shoulder. “Come here, Monkey.”

Morgan hurried over, climbing up onto the stool that Peter was holding still for her. She huffed as she settled, her cheeks puffing out.

“What’s wrong with your suit?” She asked.

“Just needed a little bit of work,” Peter said, though the truth is he’d gotten a pretty nasty kick to the ribs and it damaged a bit of the wiring. Nothing major, but fixing it was keeping him busy. “What’s the matter? Couldn’t sleep?”

“Are you going away?” Morgan asked, and Peter set his tools down.

“Hey, why don’t we go get some juice pops?” Peter asked, getting up from his stool and scooping her up in his arms, thankful that she didn’t shout or wiggle away. He turned the lab lights off, the work could wait.

“Mommy said you’re going to school,” Morgan said as Peter set her on the counter before going to the freezer.

“I plan to, yeah,” Peter nodded, opening a red one for her and a purple one for himself. “You remember when you and Mommy came into New York City for my graduation?”

Morgan nodded, red popsicle melting on her face.

“Well, now that I’m graduated from high school, I was going to go to a college to learn about the type of work your Daddy did so I can do the same kind of work,” He explained. “But if you don’t want me to, I’ll stay.”

“Daddy went to college?”

“He sure did,” Peter said, going to grab a paper towel. They’d need it. “Same school I want to go to.”

“How long does it take?” Morgan asked, tilting her head.

“Well I’ll be in college for at least four years,” Peter said, watching Morgan’s eyes get big. “But that doesn’t mean I’ll be away forever. I’ll still come stay on some weekends, but not every weekend. And my summer and winter stays will be a bit shorter. But whenever you need me, I’m not so far that I can’t help.”

“Four years is a long time,” Morgan mumbled, staring down at her popsicle.

“I know it feels like a long time, Monkey,” Peter said, brushing some of her hair back. “But I’ll be done before you know it. But if you really don’t want me to, I won’t go. I’ll stay and spend more time with you and Mommy.”

Morgan stared at her popsicle for a moment, which was rapidly melting since it was the middle of summer.

“But you want to go,” She said, and Peter sighed.

“Yeah, but you’re more important,” He said, kissing her forehead.

“You should go to school,” She said. “I want you to be happy.”

“Are you sure, Peanut?” Peter asked, taking the mostly gone popsicle she was holding out to him. He ate the last of it before setting the stick aside. He grabbed the paper towel and wiped down her face and sticky hands.

“Yeah,” She nodded. “You should go to school like Daddy did.”

“Thanks, spider monkey,” Peter said, hoisting her up again in his arms and starting for the stairs. “I promise I’ll visit as much as I can. And it’s not for a little while yet, so you’ve still got me here for the rest of the summer.”

“Will you tell me a story?” Morgan asked as he pushed open the door to her room. He settled her back in her bed, kneeling down beside it.

“Okay,” Peter nodded, feeling bad about not having told her one earlier. “Well, once upon a time, there was this really awesome superhero-“

“Was it Spiderman?” Morgan asked with a giggle.

“It might have been,” Peter laughed back, leaning forward to put his forehead on hers. “Anyways, one day a bunch of bad guys decided to cut a big boat carrying a bunch of people in half, so the superhero swung in and used his totally awesome powers to tie the whole boat together. He almost did it all by himself, but he needed one more line and before he could get it, it started falling apart again. And do you know who flew in to push the boat together and save the day?”

“Ironman?” She asked, still giggling.

“Did I tell you this story?” Peter asked, raising a brow at her as she nodded. “Well it’s a good one.”

“Can I go to school like you and Daddy one day?” She asked, and Peter brushed her hair back.

“One day, if that’s what you want to do,” He nodded. “But you don’t have to worry about that right now. Go to sleep, okay, it’s late.”

“Okay,” Morgan scooted down in her bed, pulling the blankets up to her chin.

“Love you lots, Monkey.” He said, giving her a kiss on the forehead again.

“I love you 3000,” She said, and the way she did always warmed Peter’s heart.

“Back at you, Morg,” He said before shutting the door.

* * *

 

Move in day was full of a lot of tears.

Mostly from May.

"May, I'll be fine, I promise," Peter said for what felt like the hundredth time that day. He and Ned were moved into their dorm room, ready to start a new adventure together. Mrs. Leeds had come, of course, as did Pepper and Morgan and Happy. It was the best send off he could ask for.

"I know, I know," She nodded, pulling back from her fifth goodbye hug. "You call me if you need anything."

"Of course-"

"And don't let your laundry pile up, your superheroing stinks-"

"Aunt May," Peter whined, ignoring Morgan's giggles. "We'll be fine. If I need you I will call you, okay?"

"Okay, okay," May nodded, wiping at her eyes. "You're a good boy. I love you." She leaned forward and kissed his forehead, stepping back towards the door.

"Love you too, May," He said, glad to see her finally stepping away. He was starting to worry she was never going to leave.

"You ever need a ride, you know my number," Happy said, clapping him on the shoulder. He glanced back at where Pepper and Mrs. Leeds were comforting May before leaning closer. "And you ever need a ride from a party you don't want your aunt to know about, call me."

"Thanks, Hap," Peter said, giving him a genuine smile. Morgan was next, and last, to run forward, throwing her arms around Peter's legs. "You be good, Monkey."

Peter hoisted her up, letting her throw her arms around his neck in one of her awesome hugs. He hoped with his super strength he'd be able to pick her up for as long as she wanted. It was already getting hard for Pepper to carry her.

"Love you," she mumbled, and Peter kissed her temple.

"Love you too, Kiddo," he said, letting her down when she squirmed. She started pulling her backpack off, the Spiderman one that she had picked out for her start of first grade in a few weeks, and dug through it. She popped back up, holding out two wrapped gifts. "What have you got there?" Peter asked as he crouched down and took them.

"Presents for you," She said, smiling back at Pepper. "Mommy and I wrapped them."

Peter smiled as he opened the top one, which was a picture of he and Morgan on his graduation day. She was wearing his cap while he held her in his arms, and they were both laughing at how much it didn't really fit her head. That was Peter's twitter picture still.

"I love it," He said, holding out an arm to hug the little girl. "Thank you, Peanut."

"Open the other one," She said, taking the open gift and setting it on the floor beside them. Peter laughed, because she was just as bossy as her daddy and it brought a lot of memories back, but the laughter faltered when he opened the second gift.

It was a photo of he and Tony, smiling and holding his Stark Internship award. Of course it was upside down, because he was dumb and excited back then. He knew the picture had been in the kitchen, because Morgan liked to look at it.

"Oh, Kiddo," Peter sighed, trying not to cry. He didn't like crying in front of Morgan because it upset her and he didn't want to upset her.

"Don't be sad," she said, leaning in to hug him again. "Daddy loved you."

Peter felt his foundation crumbling as he wrapped his other arm around her, choking out a sob. He could feel everyone's eyes on them, but he tried to ignore them.

"Mommy said when you miss us, you can look at the pictures and feel better," Morgan mumbled in his ear, and Peter hugged her tighter before letting her go and wiping the few tears off of his face and the few that had fallen onto her pudgy cheeks. "I'll miss you."

"Don't cry, Peanut," Peter said, leaning in to kiss her forehead. "Whenever you miss me, you can call me, okay?"

"Okay," she nodded, slipping her open backpack on again.

"You're going to do great in first grade, Peanut," Peter said, brushing some of her hair back. "Call me and tell me everything, okay?"

"Okay."

"Go ahead with Mommy, alright? Love you, Peanut."

"Love you too, Peter," She lunged forward for one more hug before going to hold Pepper's hand as everyone filed out of the room, offering final goodbyes. Once he and Ned were watching them walk down the hall, Peter was overcome with the urge to run after them and go home until his classes started next week.

"You alright there, Parker?"

The pair turned and saw MJ standing the other way, arms crossed and an eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Peter said, wiping one stray tear from his face. He hurried into the room to grab the photos off of the floor, tossing the wrapping paper in the garbage can and setting the frames on the desk that was designated as his. It was amazing to see how much Morgan looked like her dad, those same eyes, same thick, wavy hair. He wished she could stay that little forever.

"She really loves you, huh?" MJ asked, leaning over the desk to get a closer look at Morgan, whom she had only met a handful of times. Ned had met her more, joining Peter on a few trips upstate to help work on his suit.

Peter opened his mouth to respond when the phone in his pocket started ringing the special ringtone. It was the only one that was different, so he knew when Morgan wanted to video chat from her Stark Pad.

"Hey, Monkey," Peter said as he answered, smiling at his phone screen. "Miss me already?"

_"I forgot to tell you! Mommy said I could wear my new Spiderman t-shirt on the first day!"_

"Yeah? That's awesome, Morg," Peter said with a chuckle. He could hear Pepper laughing too as she took the Stark Pad so she could talk.

 _"What we also forgot was I wanted to let you know Tony's glasses are in their case in the box from our house,"_ she said. _"I don't have a lot of use for them, and I think you'd be able to get a lot of use out of them. Maybe you and Ned can reprogram them to your AI."_

"Really?" Peter asked, going to the box labeled 'Peter's mess,' because it was mostly just mess. Junk from the garage, forgotten t-shirts, some other stuff. He opened it and saw the case sitting on top. "Oh wow, Pepper. Thanks."

_"I'm tired of looking at them every morning."_

Peter gave her a tight lipped smile. Even after over two years, he got it. He still hated looking at his suit and knowing that the man who had crafted it for him was gone.

"Thank you, Pep," he mumbled, feeling MJ's hands on his shoulders as she stood on her toes to see over his shoulder and wave. Pepper gave her a small smile.

_"Mommy, I want to talk!"_

The screen shifted as Morgan tilted it back down to herself, offering him a big smile.

_"You look funny."_

Peter laughed, seeing his face in the reverse screen in the top corner. He did kind of look funny in Tony's glasses. They were styled like old man glasses, not something he would have chosen for himself.

"Yeah, I don't think I have a face for glasses," He said.

"No you don't," MJ scoffed, going over to the box and starting to dig through it. Peter scowled at her and shut the box.

"Didn't ask you," He said, and he could hear Pepper laughing.

_"Honey, we should let Peter get all unpacked."_

The screen shifted again, showing both Pepper and Morgan, the little girl having angled it right this time.

 _"Okay,"_ she sighed.

"I'll talk to you soon, Moogona," Peter said, waving at the screen.

_"Bye Peter!"_

_"Bye, Honey."_

"Bye, Pep," Peter said, hitting the end call button on his phone. He looked up to see MJ sitting on his desk, smiling.

"She's cute," she said. "You two want help unpacking?"

"Don't you have to unpack?" Peter asked, furrowing his brows. He slipped his phone back into his pocket and opened a different box with his clothes.

"Already done," She shrugged a shoulder. "I didn't have a mob here with me."

"Fair," Peter nodded. "Sure, just don't break anything."


End file.
